How Perfect

(Dedicated to three amazing friends who changed my life.)

Where did I go?

And who caught me

as I fell?

I was up

much too high

to catch myself,

and I thought

I'd been

alone.

But you stood

at the bottom,

your arms reaching up

to catch me.

You're so big,

it wasn't

too hard.

So warm, I

thought I'd fallen

into the sun.

But why would

he be down here?

Now it was you.

It's always been you.

You don't have

the right words,

but it works for you.

And I'm good at listening,

so I usually hear what you mean.

I'm not so good at

being nice,

but you're really hard to hurt.

And you usually forgive me,

anyways.

You may not be perfect,

but you're always there

exactly when I need you.

And that's quite the feat,

because I'm in need of a friend

quite often.

We've hurt each other.

We have offended.

But that's why we're

so great.

We've never forgotten

how to forgive.

Over and over and over again.

And you ease my pain.

With one subtle gesture,

My worries are soothed.

Because you know.

And you're perfect

for me.

The Trouble with a Fickle Heart

If I should

get married

before I am ready,

I hope he has

the sense

to say,

"Honey,

let's not have

kids

just yet."

I hope he can

honestly say,

"I love you

enough to wait

until everyone's ready."

Because I rush in.

And then I have

too much heart

to ever change

my mind.

So I hope I get it right.

The first time.

And I hope he understands

when I don't.

Fake

Please know that I

am really only half

of what I pretend

to be.

Please don't

take me seriously.

Please see past

my tough facade.

I'm just not this big

on the inside.

I've got the world

fooled.

And don't you

feel silly?

Knowing that

what you were

scared of

is a hoax?

But my sham

is too appealing to drop.

Because big and bad

gets more respect

than quiet and sad.

And if you don't

respect me,

You'll stop pretending to like me.

The Heart of the Matter

(Disclaimer: This particular poem is VERY difficult for me to post. So... Be nice.)

I miss the days before we

made this complicated.

I miss the boy who would blush

at the mention of my name.

Back when holding hands was

a big deal, because you never knew

who was watching or what they

might think.

I miss the girl with stars

in her eyes, and the Son

in her dreams.

When kissing you was still a fantasy,

and your mom didn't know my name yet.

I could write about you

forever.

Until my hand fell off

and all my fingers ran away,

screaming.

And they would all know

your name by touch.

But I've already written enough

to embarrass us both.

I just want you to

know...

I miss it too.

But... I miss it more than you.

Cuz you've got alternative solutions.

I only have you.

You, and a wish, that I

could stop being so desperately in love

with you.

Stop caring so much.

I wish that I was strong enough

to admit that you're not good for me.

You're not good to me, and I know it.

You build up a mountain,

construct me your monument,

and then you set me on the edge of a

cliff, and let me fall.

Rain softens the dust into mud,

but that doesn't cushion the blow.

I still fall five hundred feet

and then hit

rock bottom.

Hard.

Shattering into one thousand pieces

Left to wonder,

"How in the hell did I not see that cliff before I fell?"

You do it all the time,

and it's always the same.

And I'm always crushed.

Cuz I think, "This time it'll be different."

But we're so perfect for eachother.

And I don't know when to stop.

So I just let you drop me like a rock.

And then I convince myself that

it's my fault, and I actually

feel bad about it.

But I know that you really do care.

So I let you do it all over again...

How Crappy Sounds Cute

You dance

like there's ants

in your pants.

I draw

like there's raw meat

on the end of my arm.

But we get along just fine.

We have an unromantic time.

You tell me when I look pretty.

But you think I look good

all the time.

I tell you when you look like crap,

but you never do.

We were meant to be best friends,

and the world was meant to hate it.

You're the only constant.

I've never not wanted you.

Except for maybe

that first semester of 7th grade.

You were such a dork back then.

"Make up is a waste of time."

But you think i look good in mine.

You have dreams

that can pass through

a needles eye.

My dreams could fill

all of Shaq's shoes,

and still need more room.

I say the wrong thing

at the wrong time.

"It's just words, ya see."

But it's the wrong rhyme.

You want me to want you,

but you never have enough loyalty

to want only me.

We're entirely imperfect.

A proudly broken pair.

Hey It's Okay

Hey! It's okay!

Your life isn't over!

We've only just begun!

Don't spend

your whole life

in high heels

and pencil skirts.

Let your hair down.

Wipe off your make up.
Dance in the rain.

Kiss as many people

as you can.

Go to Spain.

Love the life you're given.

You only get one.

Friends With Benefits

I know you so well.

We just kiss and tell.

Pretending our feelings

aren't involved.

Aren't they, though?

Heartache and hurt.

My two favorite words.

But life without you

would SUCK

way worse.

So go right ahead.

Twist the dagger around.

I can still feel it.

And it only reminds me

that I'm still alive.

I've still got

this life to live.

And this heart's

still mine to give.

But part of it

wil ALWAYS be yours.

You.

Wonderful.

Terrible.

You.

And me.

I'm there too.

No Title

Grovel

I won't.

I can't

give you

the satisfaction.

I will not

come crawling back.

I'd rather do without.

Even if it kills me.

Yer Killin Me, Smalls.

Girls

care

so much

all the time.

About EVERYTHING.

I don't fit.

My hair.

My face.

My shoes.

My legs.

I am

so different.

Girls flock

and mob.

Guys are nice.

But boys like girls

like those.

And I am just a friend.