I'm Allowed to Dream

Mischeif.

A pretty face.

Disruption.

The Best Friend.

Goofball.

Is this all

that I am

worth?

But no.

I have

SO MUCH MORE

to offer!

I can dream

and I can soar.

I can surpass

your limits.

I am not

the best,

but how would you

even know?

You won't even give me

the chance

to show you.

This world's

too small for me.

Tell Yourself

She's no longer here,

but she's not really gone.

We'll see her again.

Right now, the

sky just needs

his friend.

He just needs her

for now.

Someone else,

so far away,

needs her more

than we do.

She's left for a while.

But she'll be back.

In fact, we'll

go to her.

You'll meet her with tears

and smiles.

But for now,

it's alright to miss her.

Just know that it's not

good bye.

(In Loving Memory of Leuzi Cardoso)

Good Bye

Sometimes good bye is pleasant.

We wish for it to come.

Peace is all that follows.

And then we're just... done.

Sometimes good bye...

It makes me cry.

Sometimes there's no good by

at all.

And that is when

I kneel again.

I pray to change

the end.

(In Loving Memory of Leuzi Cardoso)

Hurricanes Inside

I must be strong.

Torrents of rain

fall around others.

They are amid storms.

I am the sun.

The rainbow.

I've seen the clouds.

I've made my own rain,

but now some light

arrives.

My storm-- it rests.

Other homes

flood.

Full to the brim,

drenched with tears,

but I remain

dry.

Once others leave,

and I'm alone,

I return to safety.

My own island of

tranquility.

My personal rain forest.

For it has seen the rain.

And now, I make some more.

(In Loving Memory of Leuzi Cardoso)

Exactly

Life is good.

The grass is green.

Things are exactly

as they ought to be.

Not much to say.

It's going my way.

Life

is

Good.

Labels

I've never met her.

Never said a word

to 'girls like her' before.

But I know her.

Know everything about her.

I know her like she

doesn't even know herself.

And she's wrong.

I'm right.

I'm better than her.

Go ahead,

just try

to deny it.

But actually don't.

Cuz I'm just right.

Pieces

Have,

I do,

some parts to me.

First:

The part

that loves

to be.

Living is

partly

Loved

by me.

And then,

the part

that Loves

to see.

The world

is viewed

appreciatively.

And I

appreciate.

When thus,

the world

reciprocates.

And living,

again,

is all the more

loved.

But, finally,

the part with weight:

All is not so sweet.

Bitter times

make their appearance,

and I've been

introduced.

A heavy heart.

Life's whips

do smart.

And others,

unknowingly,

help it along.

Their words are thrown

like balls of snow.

Unthinking,

fun,

and aimless.

But razor cold

lies within.

When it hits,

it stings.

No one meant these things.

But pieces of me

can feel

some pain.

Convincing Myself

(I just need to say something about this to the people who will know exactly what it's about when they read it. This is not new information. This stuff was just on my mind, because I didn't feel like I had said exactly what I needed to about it. This is "The Final Word" about him. This is exactly what needed to be said, and now I feel so much better.)

May I please

love him?

May the other

please

just go away?

Why am I so

stuck?

Why do I always

return?

What about you

is so alluring?

What is it that

attracts me?

And why don't you

believe me?

You've made mistakes, too,

haven't you?

We've hurt each other

equally.

But I've allowed you

to believe

that it is all

me.

We're not good together.

Let's just stay

away.

Let go of me.

I want

him

now.

Go.

Alone

The loneliest

feeling

is when you're

surrounded

by people

who hate you.
Alone with myself?
No.

Alone

with many.

The Worst in Me

All the time,

I write about the trivial.

I write because I want to write,

Not 'cause what I'm saying matters.

But this is real.

My feelings right now

Frigid, and deep.

I know what I know.

I make a fool of myself

Time and again

Trying to explain

Or to understand

Things that don't matter.

I see that now.

I couldn't before.

There was too much fluff on my heart.

I've cleared it away.

The trivial is gone.

I know what really matters.

I am loved.

I love.

Love-- That's what matters.

I feel anger and hatred,

And know it's ok.

It's necessary, even good.

Negativity

Brings a release

Of sorts.

And then you return to love.

And then you feel much lighter.

But real.

Not like you could float away.

Still grounded, but free.

Deep, but unconcerned.

This is the lesson I've learned.