Responsibility

It's even heavier
than it sounds.
It is necessary.
It teaches us
to grow up.
How you handle it
really says a lot
about your character.
About you.
About who-and what
you are.
What moves you.
What you care about.
What you stand for.
Whether you stand
for anything at all.
In any case,
it matters.
Take it seriously.
Otherwise,
screw your future.

Nothing But Everything

I wish I could just tell you.
I wish.
But I can't.
Nothing is stopping me,
but I can't, all the same.
Because actually,
something is stopping me.
Nothing really.
Just... everything.
All of me.
Every fear,
every inhibition,
every insecurity,
practically every fiber of my being
is screaming
"YOU CAN'T."
And I believe,
because this has always proven
safe.
That and you scare me.
Not you per se,
but the idea
of you
(or anyone, really)
knowing too much.
But mostly
you
knowing... anything.
It terrifies me.

And why?
Who are you?
What would it hurt if you knew?
Nothing would change.
Not really.

But everything's
already different with you.
I've changed,
thus my whole world has.
There is a newly realized
possibility
which I hadn't even
considered before:
Letting you in
might be okay.
But how long have I
known you?
I shouldn't feel
this way.
But I'm adjusting.
I'm growing, changing,
learning how to be
here.
You showed me,
simply through being near me,
that I really didn't know
myself very well.
And so you mean nothing...
Yet you'll always be
so much more
than nothing
to me.

I wish, I long, I ache
to tell you.
Everything.
But nothing's what comes out.

Unreasonably,
I want so much  more than nothing
with you.
It makes no sense.
I'm silly.
Maybe, after all this,
I'll tell you.
I'll explain.

And when you know,
hopefully you'll understand.
And maybe you'll
forgive me.

You were so awesome,
so sweet,
so nice.
And I treated you
like less than
nothing.
But only because
it terrified me
to make you my everything.

For the Best

Fear
is stupid.
Inhibiting,
Crippling,
and pointless.

All it has ever
accomplished
is keeping
people
from success.

So cut it out.

But that's
not easy...

But it must be done.

The Wanderings of a "Creative" Mind

You will NEVER
be able to be
happy
(like- TRULY happy)
until you stop caring
about what other people
think of you.
BE ORIGINAL.
be you.
Whatever that
leads you to,
you will end up
feeling successful
and happy.
And doesn't
that
seem worth it?

Not By The Stars

I am worth
STARS.

And I don't mean
the sparkly
little
specks
that we see
when we look
at the sky.
I am talking
about the
celestial
flaming
orbs of light
that become
SUNS.

I am talking
the centers of
galaxies.
These beautiful
Heavenly
masses
that we just can't
see clearly
(not nearly enough)
from here on earth.
But if we could fly,
as we'd get closer,
worlds would appear.
Each with their own people
languages
governments
societies
religions
laws
lives.
And suns.
Which we call
stars.

I am worth
stars,
not a few.
My own glory,
when I am not
personally smothering it,
shines twice as
brightly as any
star's light.

Let it shine!
"This is mine!"
Own it.
Be proud.
Love the life
you're given,
and never
ever
forget
what you're worth.
Not by the stars.

Where Answers Are Found

When I was in Elementary School,

We used to go on walks,

as a class,

whole laps of the school,

just learning how to walk

in the hall.

The result?

An entire generation of students

who know

how to, successfully,

walk down a hallway.

Congratulations, school system.

What an accomplishment.

Now if you could only

teach us the things

that matter.

Like how to be a better student.

How to succeed in academics.

How to make friends

your first semester of college.

How to mend your own broken heart

when it's been smashed

into seven billion pieces,

and no one else

quite understands.

How to know when

you've been forgiven.

How to fall in love without getting hurt.

How to fall in love,

and stay in love,

and not run away, screaming,

once you realize

that you've fallen

"too far."

Why can't there be a class

on how to forgive others?

Or how to prepare

for the greatest trials

of your life.

How to deal with the presence of death,

an abundance of tears,

and hope so scarce

it may as well

not even exist

at all.

Why isn't there a How-To manual

called, "Regaining Strength When Your Best Friend Disappears Forever"?

Or how about, "Being Flexible in the Most Stressful Days of Your Lives, Because That's When Flexibility is Most Crucial"?

I've been looking for one.

Seriously, honestly,

I have SEARCHED

the available media

for some miraculous

piece of text that would

provide all of the answers.

And at the end of the day,

I came home empty-handed.

And depressed.

I collapsed on my bed,

exhausted and spent,

and I opened the literature

that I have "studied" all my life.

And then I understood.

God loves me.

He put the How-To manual in my hands.

I've had it all along,

the secret to staying strong.

And now,

I know where to look.
And, "Thank you," is
simply
never enough
thanks.

The Best Is Yet To Be

Isn't this the loss

of a dear, dear friend?

It is a sad thing.

A truly tragic passing.

This thing once loved,

now dead.

But do I mourn?

Oh, no!

I glide quickly forward,

with high hopes,

my eyes ever upward.

And I know.

I know it was your time to go.

I'm not sad to watch you leave.

You've left all your youth with me,

and you have made me strong.

You brought me heartache and discomfort,

unhappiness and pain,

and I didn't realize how good I had it.

How easy you made life.

Now you're gone.

Memory lingers on....

And sweet nostalgia

lightens my everyday.

But haven't you gone away?

And where you've gone,

you have to stay.

And I'm proud to say I won't miss you.

I'm ready for you to go.

I'm ready to be on my own,

because now I know I won't be alone.

So I keep watching you.

Intrigued by the sight

of your fading light.

And while I will miss the ease,

I will not miss that life.

I'm ready to move on.